Thought Leader Insight: How to question your way to leadership success
Less talking and more listening, or less Trump and more Ardern, is the clear message for business leaders as we move forward. How is this achieved? All you have to do is ask.
THE HARD WORD’S THOUGHT LEADER INSIGHT SERIES IS INSPIRED BY MOMENTS FROM OUR REGULAR INTERVIEWS WITH THE BEST AND BRIGHTEST IN BUSINESS.
Many of my most memorable conversations have been with academics, and that shouldn’t be a surprise. After all, the realm of academia is one in which powerful knowledge is developed as a matter of course. It is an area in which important ideas become reality, in which everyday assumptions are tested, often with astounding results, and it’s sometimes a field where the obvious is stated for the very first time.
That final scenario, a powerfully obvious fact stated for the first time, was what made my interview with Associate Professor Will Felps, management and organisational behaviour expert from UNSW Business School, stand out. I originally spoke with Felps for a feature story published in Business Think.
His research had revealed that the asking of questions by a leader – or the practice of “respectful inquiry”, as he called it – was a sadly under-appreciated and rarely utilised but powerful way to improve staff commitment, engagement and motivation. It also improved decision making and helped leaders identify and navigate pathways during times of stress and pressure, which are unfortunately the times that leaders are least likely to ask for advice, guidance and opinions.
As I thought back to this conversation, it made me consider the challenges leaders will face as they attempt to direct their brands, businesses, staff and other stakeholders out of the current economic darkness and into the light. If leaders feel they have to act like old-school commanders, all bluff and bluster and Trump and chunder, their followers are doomed.
But if they ask questions of those around them, and listen intently to the answers, constantly probing for further advice and guidance, there’s a good chance they’ll make it to their desired destination intact. Best of all, they will also engage, empower and motivate staff.
Why leaders must ask more questions, respectfully
What is respectful inquiry, exactly? Felps says it’s a configuration of communication behaviours that involves asking questions in an open way and listening attentively and actively to the response. In combination, these behaviours signal to the person being questioned that their thoughts are welcome and valued. It encourages the right types of responses.
In my world, particularly in courses I run in the media sector, this is extremely similar to the way I teach people to interview – ask a question then listen deeply and never concentrate on your next question. In the dating world, this is similar to the process of flirting, listening deeply to let a person know you’re interested and to make them feel good about themselves. And in the political realm, reputations have been built on such talents. For example, it was often said that Bill Clinton could make anybody feel as if they were the only person in the room. You can bet he did this by employing active listening.
Question openness is important, Felps says. In other words, questions must be phrased in a way that invites an elaborate and undetermined response. For example, “What do you think?” is more open than “Do you agree?”.
Tone and body language must give the person being questioned an assurance that the questioner is listening. Think of how distracting and infuriating it is when somebody asks you a question then looks over your shoulder at others in the room, or at their phone. Eye contact and physical responses to a person’s comments should be encouraging and positive.
This is all well and good. It makes absolute sense. But what does it have to do with leadership?
Leaders can make staff feel competent and confident
The hangover of old-school leadership means today’s leaders sometimes feel as if they have to ‘act like a leader’ – they need to make difficult decisions on their own and tell everybody around them what to do. They need to be commanders.
But this leadership model has gone the way of the dinosaurs. More research, this time by Professor Chris Jackson from the UNSW School of Management, says this model of leadership is several millennia past its use-by date.
“At best, it could be argued that the current transformational leadership research owes a big and generally unrecognised debt of gratitude to our imperial past; at worst, it could be argued that little has been achieved over the last 2000 years,” Jackson said in a recent Business Think piece.
Felps agrees, saying leaders make far better decisions when they have more information.
“Respectful inquiry helps decision-making,” Felps says. “It means you have more perspectives and you think through things more carefully in the process of talking to others and having others justify their views.”
It also helps those whose opinions are being sought, he says.
“Respectful inquiry is very satisfying for people because it signals to them that you think they’re competent, that they’re valued members of the group, and that they have some autonomy,” he says.
This leads to staff feeling more engaged, confident, committed and motivated. An area of psychological knowledge called ‘self-determination theory’ says we’re more motivated and satisfied when “we feel we belong, we’re relating to others and we have some freedom,” Felps says.
In fact, such behaviour by a leader has been proven to win support from staff and other stakeholders around particular decisions, directions and strategies, even if they’re not the decisions that boast popular support.
“One of the things I think is really interesting in the literature is that people want to have a voice in decisions,” Felps explains. “Interestingly, often that’s even more important than whether or not the decisions themselves are what they wanted. As long as people felt as if their concerns were heard and considered, even if the decision went the other way, they’re happier than if you didn't ask them at all.”
In other words, we all want to know our voice has been heard. When we feel that we’ve been heard, we’re more likely to be committed to whatever decision the leader makes.
So why don’t leaders ask us more questions?
As mentioned above, some still subscribe to the old-school image that a leader should stand above everybody else and make every decision on their own. Some leaders don’t engage in respectful inquiry because they’re worried people won’t respect them unless they appear to have all the answers.
“The three hardest words in the English language are not ‘I love you’,” Felps says. “They’re ‘I don’t know’.”
Another problem has to do with ego. Some who reach a leadership position mistakenly consider their own perspective is the only one worth recognising. Felps says this kind of thinking comes from the “self-enhancement bias” which, if it gets out of hand, can turn into outright narcissism.
Finally, and most crucially for today’s environment, there’s a psychological theory called ‘threat rigidity’ which says that when we’re under increased stress and pressure, we don’t want to explore other ideas or seek external input. When we’re overwhelmed, we don’t want to think. Instead we seek cognitive closure. So, in a period of crisis, we’re likely to see less respectful inquiry and more ‘strong and wrong’ commands.
Of course, this is the time we most need to be asking questions, for our own sake and for those around us.
The message to leaders at all levels today is clear and surprisingly obvious – ask, don’t tell. Focus on communication techniques, not commands. Seek advice and opinion, and listen deeply. Clear time, space and bandwidth for real conversations, and you’ll likely be surprised, delighted and empowered by what you hear.
THE HARD WORD’s business writer Chris Sheedy originally spoke with Will Felps for a feature story in Business Think.
